Another Update to my GoFundMe campaign - 5/8/2015
I slept in until 9am this morning, the latest I've gotten
up in a very long time. Got dressed and
took Kazé for an extended morning constitutional – and even picked-up his
poop. I did a lot of thinking during the
walk – especially as I passed properties that are being fixed-up. I don’t know what I should do – save the
money it would take to fix this place up, knowing I will leave it in a couple
of months, or try like crazy to keep this house and them put in some money and
sweat equity to fix some of its problems.
This house means the world to me – there’s no denying that if I had a
choice I would stay here. I have lived
in this house longer than at any other address and every nook & cranny is
filled with memory. I watched my boys
grow into men here, nurtured an entire cadre of rented kinds within these
walls. This house is home for me –
Erhard and I began our new life here in Rockford at a different address, but
considered this house our true Rockford home.
Now the thought of leaving it behind because I've lost it to the bank is
heartbreaking. Every time I think I’m
over it – and ready to move on something pulls me back here. It feels like another death of family event.
On top of that I have been informed by Muzyka Funeral Home
that my beloved brother (Steve’s) cremains are finally back (he donated his
body to medical research following his death from the autoimmune syndrome know
as Wegener’s Granulomatous). I have waited
2½ years for him to return and now I can’t ransom his ashes because I don’t
have the $225.00 required to close-out my account with the funeral
home. I don’t blame them – they handled all
the arrangements and transport beautifully and deserve to get paid – I just don’t
have the money. I want him home. I have my mother’s and Erhard’s ashes and
have always imagined interring them all together. But I cannot conjure money out of thin air
and although I am taking on as many hours at work as I can get I am just
beginning to break even and being able to support myself somewhat.
I pray every day that my story makes it out there and that
serendipity is generous. I want to turn
back the clock to a time when I was the “fairygodmama” to others – helping them
in their time of need or want. I know
that once I can I will do it again. But right
now I am the one in need and this is the only forum I know of that might prove
my solution.
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