Sunday, June 26, 2011

MY TWO-CENTS WORTH...


There was a time in the not-so-distant past when I would share my opinions openly...so much so that I developed quite an ego about my expertise. As one might imagine I had to learn the hard way that having an opinion and having the right to share it were two entirely different things and my careless disregard in telling anyone and everyone what I thought resulted in my alienating and distressing many people I truly cared about. Eventually I learned to keep almost all of my thoughts to myself. To people in Rockford, I may have always appeared this way, since this was something I learned before moving here. Sadly, this has resulted in my now getting the overwhelming impression that my closest friends and family believe that I NEVER have an opinion and nothing upsets me...this is a mistake.
Before continuing what I know will become a rant of sorts I want to make it crystal clear that this diatribe is not directed at ANYONE specifically. These feelings are a culmination of many observations that have caused me great distress and over time my feelings have only intensified. While I don't usually recommend anyone living in a glass house throwing stones, sometimes just such a person can best warn of what may befall the next person who attempts to live as if the world will disregard what they do behind supposedly closed doors. It has been my experience since coming to Rockford that whatever you may think no one knows, in the end everyone will find out. While it's easy to say “I don't care what people think, I like me” in reality what people think can have a profound impact on the quality of your life in this town.
Never underestimate the ability of people to telegraph what they know regardless of what they promise. Being a person who has more experience with keeping confidences isn't always what it's cracked up to be, but it is also something that is learned and practiced. Most people never realize how much they let on when they least think about it, and from experience I can tell you that it has led many people to be shocked at what I might know about them. While I think myself a deeply empathic person, I know that I am an observant one. But in Rockford, Illinois, in 2011, being all that observant isn't necessary...eventually someone will tell you something you wish you didn't now know. And then you will be left to decide, like I am as to what to make of this now fresh information about someone you actually thought differently about...
I have always said and I continue to emphatically state that one should attempt to lead an UN-BLACKMAIL-ABLE life. I had thought this lesson had been repeated ad-nauseum, but events of late have convinced me that people are once again of the opinion that what they do simply shouldn't or won't matter. REALLY? I mean how many times does karma have to come around before you're convinced it's still a force to be reckoned with? And for what? Is what you're doing making you truly happy, or even marginally satisfied about your life? Given what people have told me, I doubt it... no matter the argument forwarded in defense of what has transpired. In the end, for better or worse – I THINK BETTER OF YOU than this...
So the next time you think you can sling sleaze and call it freedom, be aware that what you do in secret today can make your life a public mess tomorrow...